Arnav had arrived at the Gupta's just as they were serving dinner and he was in the middle of attempting to convince Buaji that he would come back later as he didn't want to impose.
"Hai Re Nand Kishore! Arre Bitua, humka nahi sunna! Tum yaha aye ho toh khakar jaane ke paare." Buaji said and he looked to Khushi for an appeal of help, she knew how awkward he felt in these situations. Khushi smiled and touched her Bua's shoulders, Buaji turned to her and Khushi smiled and inclined her head so to make her Buaji understand she would handle this. Madhumati looked at the two and shook her head. "Tik hai Sanka Devi, tum hi inko samjado. Yeh dono mujhe paghal kardenge." Madumati muttered the latter to herself as she went to go place the food on the table. Arnav was stood outside in the doorway, Khushi smiled to herself as she noted he'd gotten out of work early today to see her. Usually he would be home in the late evening, it had only just hit half five, someone was missing her.
"Aap kahna nahi kayenge?" Khushi asked sweetly and Arnav looked up at her.
"Khushi, I can go home and eat, then come back. I don't want to cause any fuss." Arnav said and Khushi pouted.
"Kya fuss, shuss? Bhaas ek aur plate table phar toh baath katham. Aap bhi na, choti si baath ko itna badhate hai, ki poochiya math!" Khushi said in an exaggerated manner.
"Khushi, I don't know-" Arnav began.
"Mere liye nahi rukoge?" She asked as she tilted her head to the side and looked at him with a heartbreakingly longing face. Arnav hated himself, he knew exactly what she was doing, she knew she had the upper-hand at the moment and she was using it to the max. What he hated more was how he was letting her. He didn't want to make her angry or upset to prove a point about how he was always right. To be honest, right now he did just want to spend time with her. He sighed and nodded, Khushi smiled as she grabbed his hand and led him to the table. She began to pour in food for him when he grabbed her hand.
"What do you think you're doing?" He asked and Khushi looked confused.
"Khana padosrhi hoon, aur kya?" She said and Arnav got up, took the container of Dahl out of her hand and sat her down.
"Khushi you shouldn't be doing this." He said simply and her Bua took the container from Arnav.
"Wohi toh Bitua! Humhe unne samja samjakar takhgaye abh toh!" Buaji said as she and Garima poured the food in for everyone else, Khushi pouted and Arnav sat down. It wasn't like she was an invalid she was just pregnant. She shook her head and dug into the food.
After they'd finished eating, Khushi made up the excuse that she wanted to ask Arnav a question about the book she was reading, even though they were married Buaji was very old-fashioned and refused to let them be alone unless necessary. Khushi shut the door and Arnav sat on the bed, smiling over the photo beside her bed. Khushi stood in front of him and put her hands on her hips.
"Toh batiye, aaj kaise humari yaad ayi thi? I'm so immature I don't understand why you'd want to see me anyway." Khushi said, reminding him of his earlier insult to her, Arnav smirked, she still hadn't forgotten that. He grabbed her hips and pulled her closer to him.
"I was only joking Khushi, you should learn to relax, itna serious maath bano." He chided her and Khushi raised an eyebrow.
"Yeh aap kya kare?" Khushi asked, not in an offended or disapproving way but in a light and curious manner. Arnav raised his eyebrows back and winked at her. "Ucha, aggar yeh baath hai toh phir jaiye. Hum sharif log hai aur aisi harkatein nahi karte." She said with mock reproach and Arnav pulled himself up and snaked his arms around her waist.
"Kya baath hai, aaj we're being very concious of sharam and all even though you were the one to make up the excuse and bring me to you're bedroom...irada kya hai?" Arnav said as he gently pulled Khushi closer to himself so that there was no space between their bodies. Khushi looked up at him, seeing the reflection of hunger in his eyes that must have been in hers. There was still a difference though, Khushi's eyes were mixed with a slight fear and worry whereas Arnav's were confident and rebellious. She raised her hand and stroked his face, her soft hands felt so soothing against the rough stubble on Arnav's face. He raised his hand to hers and took it into his own. He kissed it lightly and Khushi closed her eyes at the action. She was still afraid, she wasn't sure if he understood how much it had hurt her when he let her go. She didn't know if he realised how deeply her trust had been broken. She couldn't help but love him because she had loved him unconditionally, regardless of how he treated her and she couldn't change that. But trust. Trust was a hard thing to gain especially once lost and Khushi was not sure if she could trust Arnav just yet. She began to slide her hand away and pull herself away when Arnav reached out for her pallu and grabbed it, she turned feeling a sense of deja-vu. This scenario was echoing the day of the mehendi when they had first kissed and as much as Khushi craved to be close to Arnav in that way again she knew her heart was not yet strong enough for that.
"Arnav." Khushi said her voice full of pain as she held onto her shoulder to stop her pallu from slipping. "...please." She said shaking her head. Arnav looked at her and felt confused, what was he doing that was so wrong? He loved her, she was his wife, they were married, they were having a child...he didn't miss the physical side to their relationship, well he did a bit but that wasn't the central focus. He missed Khushi, he missed talking to her, seeing her, spending time with her, waking up to her and just well all of it. Her pagalpaan, bachpana and cheeky loving nature. Khushi could see the pain in his eyes and felt bad, he dropped her pallu, all signs of mischief wiped from their faces. Khushi awkwardly readjusted her saree and there was just silence filling the room. "I should go." Arnav said blankly, not looking at Khushi in the eye. He turned to leave when he felt her arms cling round his chest, her head nuzzled into his back and her hands dug into his chest. She weeped softly as she clung to him from behind. Arnav couldn't keep up with her, the mood swings had hit this one bad, he thought to himself. He tried to turn around to see her face but she wouldn't let him.
"I love you, I do...I just...I can't trust you yet. It hurts me Arnav." She cried softly and Arnav listened intently to her words. "You don't understand, har din jabse hum dono ne saath chorne ki phaisla kiya tah, har din mera dil rotha tah. I didn't understand, aggar tumhe mujshe pyar tah toh phir kyun chora? Maine phir socha ki shahid tumhe mujshe khabi pyar kiya nahi...Aur phir tum vapaas aye mere paas, aur yeh sabh kuch kare hoon. Mere kuch bhi samaj main nahi arra. Mujhe waqt chahiye Arnav..." She said still crying, still clinging to him and still as confused as ever. Arnav took his hands and pulled her clawing hands away from him, so that he could turn to face her. He wiped away her tears and took her into a warm and strong embrace.
"Khushi, I know you need time and I know it will take a while for you to trust me. But believe me, no one will ever be able to doubt how much I love you...I only let you walk away because that's what I thought you wanted. I believed truly that you deserved better than me and after everything that happened that night, I thought you'd realised that. The second I realised you didn't think that I wanted to take you back, but I knew too much had happened to expect you to forgive me straight away." He admitted, Khushi lifted her head up to look at him with shock. He really thought that? He thought he didn't deserve her? The man who talked about status and wealth as though they were the most important things in the world assumed he didn't deserve her. How could he even think that? The man who had spent months trying to prove how superior he was to her now was admitting that he feared that she was too good for him? "I love you Khushi. More than I could ever say because I can't seem to ever say it enough or be as convincing as I need to be because you still seem to doubt me...you take all the time you need. Just remember all the pain you felt, I felt it too." He said as he pulled himself away from her. He looked at her with an agonizingly pained look, the intensity of which reached the pit of Khushi and made it hard for her to even look at him and then he left. Leaving Khushi with a heavy heart and a horrible loneliness.
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